Dear Amanda

I would first of all like to thank you for helping keep me accountable. It is your comment (blunt yet encouraging) that has kept me going the last few days.

I must confess to you one of my main problems.... something I am trying to overcome... it's just that I'd rather not know.When I made that declaration that I would reveal my weight loss on Monday... I completely expected that it would be 6 pounds or more. And that would be fat loss because I've definitely gained muscle, which is heavier than fat.

Anyway, Amanda, it was to be a great, shining moment.

But then, I took that nasty spill at my sister's house...
exercise was out the door
went to a few Christmas parties
ate more and more and more

and well, things fell apart.

But here, my friend, is what this blog and YOU are helping me to do....

not just bury it and forget it and lose it all together.

Because it would be so easy at this point.

I vow on Monday to weigh again. And even IF I've gained it back.... I will still post it and face the facts.

And then I will try again. I will learn. I will grow. Because I truly believe that being healthy, exercising and eating right is a discipline of the mind. If I'm weak in the mind, I need to face it and try try again. Or else... I don't know that I will ever, ever truly change.
And I want to do better for my family, for myself.

Your friend, Annie

Danger Zone

I recognize it. It's upon me. There is great danger or giving up or dropping out. Due to several reasons beyond my control.

*Christmas spreads - it seems everywhere I go, there is some kind of awesome dessert or summer sausage with an exotic cheese ball. The temptations surround me. I feel heartburn coming on already.

*Kids out of school - it is so much harder to get in a workout when I am not on a constant routine.

*Tom OOT - when he is OOT, it makes it waaay difficult to get the to the gym.

*My most compelling reason? I fell and hurt my knee. Bad. They don't call me "Grace" for nuthin. While running, I tripped over my sister's flower bed trim and my knee landed directly on the edge of her concrete step. My knee is black and blue and HURTS. I've got this really embarrassing limp.

Now you see why I call it the danger zone?

Well, thank goodness for this blog and for Amanda who called me out in a comment on my last post. I promise you: this blog is keeping me honest. And people like Amanda and Katie and Amy and Chere don't realize what a favor they are doing me by reading here once in a while.

I am going to do my best to make it through this 3 week stretch and NOT give up.

Do what I can to stay out of the danger zone. And Amanda, I will get to that weight thing.

Tomorrow.

4 Week Update

Today officially marks 4 weeks.

And while I wouldn't say it's been wildly successful....

I am making some strides.

For example:

instead of snarfing down Luke's leftover cheeseburger today....
I had some cottage cheese and raspberries.

instead of buying the peachie-O's off the shelf at the bookstore this week...
I simply chose not to.

instead of buying that Pepsi treat while on office duty (such a bargain at .50 cents!)
I didn't... only because I couldn't scrape together the change.
God was behind that one, I tell ya.

instead of having pop and donuts for breakfast probably 5 or more times the last 30 days,
I have chosen oatmeal, eggs, and protein drinks. (well, and a pumpkin roll one time)

These really aren't just strides. They are like humongous giant steps.

Because to me, these are major choices. Do you remember where I was just a few weeks back?

I let myself have what I wanted when I wanted because, darnit, I deserved it.

And I probably did.

But it was poisoning me. I know that sounds dramatic. But I couldn't stop the madness.

Now, it's not stopped, but it is slowing down...

the choices are changing.

Day 23 - I Am Losing Weight

...in my chest.

Why IS it that out of the many areas of my body... THAT would be first to go? Didn't have a whole lot to work with in the first place...

It is the hip area, the thigh area that is carrying so much of the extra weight and stretching my jeans to the max, but my hips and thighs are saying, "oh noooo! We're keeping these thunder thighs and heavy hips as long as possible?"

WHAT??

I'd rather have lost weight in my big toe.

Ok... I Admit it...

It is hard to keep up this blog. I am officially beginning day 22. And it is hard to keep up this blog because it requires documenting failures... lots of em.

Failures in the form of

cheese

pumpkin rolls

and more cheese.

Omigosh! I knew I loved cheese but WOW!!!!

but the cool thing is, without this blog, I may have jumped ship.

There may be no one reading, but knowing that I've got to at least report here once in a while has kept me on track.

So, now that I have reported my failures, I also get to report my successes:

Success #1 - My workouts have been GREAT. I am the workout queen. I have not missed a workout. I thrive on it; I crave it and that's a good place to be. My body already feels different. Tom was hugging me last night and had his hand on my back and declared, "You Have a Muscle!" It was so funny. A muscle. But, in 12 years of marriage, that is not something I have ever heard.

Success #2 - My clothes are fitting... I am not squeezing myself into them like like a the last pickle in a pickle jar. Now, there is still an uncomfortable amount of spillage over the top of my jeans, but the point is, I can get into those jeans now. Woo Hoo!!!

Success #3 - I am losing weight. I am going to wait until next Monday (4 weeks) to tell you how much. But Tom noticed!!!!

Every Morsel

I am going to try this...

record every darn calorie that goes in my mouth today.

-4 glasses hot tea (green)
Is there such a thing as too much green tea?

-1 med. bowl oatmeal (nothing added)
-1 egg white
so far, so good


ok, for lunch (forgot my post-workout snack)

-Whole-wheat pretzels
-Yummy hummus
-1/2 protein bar


2:30 feeling the urge for carbs... but ignore it for the sake of the blog.

3:30 - a few cashews and peanuts in the car - just a handful

Here is where it gets bad! And I was doing so well!

5:30 -other 1/2 of protein bar
-3 large nachos chips piled with cheese, beans and chicken.
-random bites of chicken and cheese off my kids plates.
-slice of swiss cheese with a little lunchmeat.

I told you I like cheese!!! Darn it!

Well, I got on the scale, and the thing of it is, I am still doing better than I was with my OK Country Donut and Pepsi diet.

I lost another pound.

But the cheese has GOT TO GO!

-I also forgot to mention that I had some spoonfulls of Bleu Cheese and a couple slices of Pumpkin roll. NO kidding.

Still Here

I'm getting back on track.

Those evil pumpkin rolls seriously caused me some trouble.

But it's been a fairly good week.

Workouts are keeping me going.

I thankfully have been consistent and I love the schedule of BFL. I feel like I have my own personal trainer.

Mornings are going well! I eat on the BFL programs in the AM, no prob.

It's at 2:00 things go a bit haywire. I just find myself in the pantry grabbing some pretzels (I think not too bad a choice)

Then, I remember there is some dip in the frig... (just a couple bites)

and from there, the day is not great.

I can't wait to get a handle on afternoons.

I'm open for suggestions!